My Chimpanzee

            NEVER, NEVER IN YOUR LIFE SHOULD YOU BABYSIT A CHIMPANZEE. I tell ya, it's pure work. Worse than a baby. Here is a list of tips and some advice you will need if you ever babysit one.

1. Never give the chimpanzee more than 3 bananas; the last time I did... It threw up!
2. Cover ALL the furniture. When chimpanzees finish their food they tend to run around so they can POOP!
3. Keep the vet's number close, you never know when there's an emergency!
4. Bananas are always great bribing treats, but don't use them too often. Then, they lose their value.
5. Never take a chimpanzee into public, they go CRAZY!

            You see, I know this because I have babysat a chimpanzee and like I said they are HORRIBLE! Such uncooperative creatures. I was just minding my own business when my friend Talisha knocked. "Hey," she said. "Can you, by any chance baby---, no chimpanzee-sit my little babe please." I could only nod. "How much will you pay?" "Well by the trouble little Ethan gets into, it;ll be about $12 an hour." "OK, do you happen to have a list of instructions?" "Yep," Talisha said holding out a sheet of paper. "You'll need Chimpoo Shampoo, Grow n' Gorilla food, Chimpy Banana Treats, and Monkey Exercise Ball.