The Alien Mareesh

            One night I was laying down, basically doing nothing. I couldn't sleep, just breathing and thinking. Suddenly, I heard whoosh, the sound a parachute would make. Then I heard "Hello there."  Ever so slowly, I turned my head afraid by what could be standing there. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" I screamed. I was terrified, there on the open windowsill was a creature, some sort of space creature standing there with its hand held out. "Nice to meet you." It said in a robotic voice, "I am Mareesh the Green Plution."

             Shakily, I shook its hand. "Nnicce tttoo mmeett yyou Maareeesssh." I stuttered. "Wwellccome tto Earrthh." "Thank you." said Mareesh. "Please take me exploring." I decided to take him on a nature walk in the woods. So instead of sleeping, I ended up trampling in the woods at 11:00 with a Green Plution. Mareesh seemed to like nature. He reached his skinny green arm out all the time to pet some moss or a tree. Apparently he couldn't tell the difference between animals and plants.

             At about 1:00 we headed home after walking for 2 hours. the moon was full and a light breeze was blowing on this warm fall night. Leaves crunched as we lumbered by. Suddenly Mareesh started to get impatient. "When will we get back?" He kept asking, "My colony is waiting." At about 1:30 I had to admit we were lost. Mareesh started to loose his marbles. "What! How could you?" He screamed, "I trusted you, but now you must suffer!" with the flick of his ebony black cape, I appeared in a flying saucer.

            Mareesh showed me a selction of bones and skulls. "These are people like you that have also taken me on nature walks." He said wickedly. "They all have lost me in woods. Some in Turkey, Brazil, Australia, and now in Pennsylvania were you live. They all have been harshly punished. Now it is your turn, would you like to be roasted, steamed, baked, or stewed?" "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!" I screamed. This couldn't be happening.

Space Journal

February 19, 1962


             I am to be the first in space, first! I am thrilled to have this honor although I am aware of the dangers. I have heard stories of the dangers such as: cosmic rays, explosions, aliens, and disappearing. However, I am undaunted and I should be brave. I will be courageous and show Russia how powerful America is. I will leave tomorrow in my spaceship and become the first.


February 20, 1962


            I am sitting in a room now putting on my gear. I feel as bulky as a fat snowman and am ready to tackle space. Russia shall fail and America shall win. I will show them, yes ME alone! It is now time to board the spaceship. Let all go well. I pray for blessedness and all the luck I need. I shall be the first.


February 21, 1962


             I have returned from my mission and I have survived. Finally, Russia has lost! Lost! Ha Ha Ha Ha for Russia! All those stories, Poo them! There are no aliens, no explosions and no disappearances. Poo them all! I am the first, the first ever! I showed Russia, showed them all. Space is not so scary let us prepare for the Moon!


                         

The Dragon in Me

            I may look calm, serene and shy on the outside, but if you take the time to dig deep down you may find a disposition that resembles a dragon. I'm a stubborn person, never giving up.  I am a destined leader wanting to lead my own group. I can be fierce to stand up to what I believe in and show what I'm made of. I am a dragon, a golden dragon.

            What is coincidental is that I am a TRUE golden dragon. I am born in the year of the dragon. I think that the zodiac is quite correct. Even if it only works on a few people. The zodiac blessed me with this and I am happy to take this blessing.

The Flying Lime Green Teddy Bear Eating Hippo

            I was in the Canary Islands, and I had discovered a new species, the Flying Lime Green Teddy Bear Eating Hippo. It's lime green, eats teddy bears, and flies! The Hippo is about the size of a rhino and weighs about 1,234 pounds. It has fold back wings, so when they are spread out the wingspan is 99 feet from tip to tip. Its diet is rare, the teddy bears it eats are grown on undermud trees of their beloved mud puddle. It got its unique color from a staining paint that accidentally spilled over their location in 2045.

            I was 23 at that time. I had just graduated from animal discovery school and decided to go to the Canary Islands as a vacation. Then, I discovered a mud puddle. This was common in the Isles so I wasn't excited about anything. Then I tried the mud and found it ICY COLD! Now this was weird. How could a mud puddle be icy cold? Then as I looked downstream I saw lime green hippos chewing on teddy bears. I had discovered a new species no more than 1 month after graduating from school! I was going to be rich!

Silly People

            2 people (Bob and Susan) are camping near a beaver dam. They are fighting over a their lunch. There is a hot dog and an egg salad. They both want the hot dog.

Bob: I should have the hot dog because I'm a guy and girls always worry about their weight and stuff.

Susan: You're saying I'm fat? Oh no you didn't!

Nearby 2 beavers (Sam and Lily) are watching. They find their argument very interesting.

Sam: What in the world are they doing?

Lily: I really don't know. It looks like they're doing something humans call fighting.

(Beavers don't fight, they just motion that the stick they have is theirs and the other one lying somewhere else must be the other beaver's.)

The Stolen Watch of Diamonds (Thursday, February 2, 2012)

            It was a Saturday morning when the thief had robbed the jewelry store. He was 5 ft. 5in. and weighs 167 pounds. The suspects were narrowed down to a John, Jack, and Bob. We will further investigate this.

6 days later.......

             We have concluded our decision. Bob did the stealing of the diamond encrusted watch. He had wanted it so he could smuggle it to Germany and sell it for $25,000,000. He wore an employee uniform and tricked the manager into giving it to him for safekeeping.

Just Plain Wierd (Tuesday, January 31, 2012)

            I was in court, I was guilty. Wait! I was guilty? This can't be true. I rubbed my eyes, it didn't do any good. The judge slammed down the mallet. I was not going to go to jail. "Because this is your first conviction, you will be sentenced to polishing gum wrappers for 3 months." I couldn't believe this was happening, I could only acquiesce.

            After 3 months I returned to court and thanked the judge. Boy! That was weird. Then , I heard a "BEEP, BEEP, BEEP." Oh no! I woke with a start to my alarm clock. Phew! That was a close one!